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Couple Love- How to Nurture it?

Love is of an innate emotions. Living beings have the understanding of it since their inception. Even a new born and infant displays pleasure in response to love pondered on him. Through out our lives love comes in various shapes with various relationships. We love our parents, siblings, friends, significant others, region, country, religion etc. etc. However, there is a relationship the love of which differs from love with all the other relationships. It is the love with your spouse, your partner, your mate. The couple love involves the elements that are absent in all the other relationship. Something that distinguishes couple love from other relationships is the desire for physical intimacy and sex. No other forms of love accompanies this desire.

Couple love is the form of love that originated in the beginning of mankind. It is the love that made this universe delightful and colourful for man. When Adam was alone in the heavens, even the comfort and beauty of paradise did not appeal him. God created Eve to accompany him and then everything else became beautiful for him. In this way, the couple love became the reason for breeding of generations ahead. Without couple love the continuity of life on earth would not be possible.

Popular ideology that is wide-spread in my culture is that love happens on its own. Once it happens it sustains forever. Movies, novels, dramas, all keep on showcasing this ideology. Nevertheless, I don’t agree with it. Love might happen on its own but for sustaining it, there is a need for putting continuous efforts in it. Love is not a weed that would grow without taking care of it. Love is like a flowering plant and a fruitful tree. It needs continuous care through out its life for its growth. The day we stop nurturing it, it would start facade.

There cannot be a single line formula for every couple to have prosperous love life. Just like each individual is unique, each couple is unique and has its own chemistry. Each individual in every couple has to figure out what works best for it. However, there are certain aspects that can be taken into account in general.

Sex

Because the continuity of life in this world is naturally maintained via couple love and the aspect that serves this function is sex, that is why sex is of unmatched importance in the affairs of couple love. Being a religious-minded person, I am not at all in favour of sex out-of-wedlock (I respectfully disagree with the contrary opinions), however, within the wedlock sex is something that needs to be given undue importance if one wants to maintain and nurture one’s relationship. For a healthy sex life, both the partners need to understand their needs. Sometimes, one may have to make sacrifice in this regard. You might not be in the mood but your partner is. To nurture your love, I would advice you to get indulge and show interest with your partner even if you are not in the mood. This little sacrifice may bring wonders to your relationship.

It is not just the quantity that matters in sex life but also the quality of immense importance. Not every move is equally pleasurable for everyone. To have a better understanding of your partner’s preferences the couple should be opened in communicating about what triggers the sensation and what makes one satisfied. Also, the partners should pay attention to non-verbal cues to get understanding of each other’s desires.

Respect

No relationship can be pleasant if it lacks respect. For being respectful, there is no need to have agreement. In the face of disagreements, a couple need to figure out a point for consensus respectfully. Sometimes , may happen that a dialogue may get hype. In such a scenario, one should back off for a while. After a break, the matter can be discussed again when the blood have its normal flow and the nerves are not pulping hard.

A couple the individuals of which taunt and torment each other would surely lose the strength of its love. It is better to be quiet than to use the taunting words . Show your disagreement with positive words and logics instead of criticism and torture.

Sometimes, it happens that one or both of the partners start speaking negative about their partners in public. This disgrace is a venom to love. Never ever be a reason for disgrace of your partner in public. Whatever problem you have sort it out privately. If an outside intervention has become inevitable (for any reasons), make it respectful.

Show Gratitude

No ones life is without hardships and problems, but there are always something in our lives that deserve to be appreciated. Same is the principle about couples love. You might not be happy with your partner’s certain things, but their surely be things that your partner would be doing good for you. Be grateful in your hear for all the favours your partner provides be no matter how small it may be such as helping in your chores, driving you to your friend, cooking meal etc.

This gratitude shouldn’t only be in your heart but it should be expressed with words as well. You should tell your partner how much value the support he (she) provides you.

Express your love often.

There is no doubt that action speak louder than words. We need to show our love via our support and understanding to our partners practically. However, the expression of love via words and small gestures (like hugs and loveable touches other than bed times or giving your partner’s favourite candy or cooking the favourite meal) are of immense importance.

Express your love by appreciating your partner’s new dress, make over, odour, the efforts that she (he) puts for the family. Tell your partner how much she (he) is important and how you miss her (him) when she (he) is away. Dropping a short message of “I love you” at odd times in your partner’s DM can boosts the attraction magically between you too.

Keep Communicating

Communication is the key for building any relationship. Its importance is multi-folded in the relationship of couples. No one knows what you think, feel and expect until you tell them. Communication is the thing that develops the comfort zone.

Silence is not the solution to anything. In fact, prolonged silence only create distances and misunderstandings. If something hurts you, do tell in a positive way. If you have doubts, clear them by speaking about them. If you have desires, make them heard.

The more you communicate, the better you understand each other. When there is nothing special to talk about, talk about general things like your favourite movie or philosophies or any other incident from past (literally, about anything). It would help building the comfort zone for subsequent conversation.

Communication among couples should be developed on the grounds of trust, understanding and respect. Believe me, if you can tell your partner whatever you want to tell without having the fear of negative reaction your love is real. It is not easy to build up yet not impossible. Both the partners need to learn to put one’s foot in the other partner’s shoe.

Final Words

Love is like a flowering plant. It needs proper care and efforts for its nurturance. Sex is like the seed for the couple’s love. To grow this seed into the plant gratitude, respect and expression of love act like the fertilizer; while the communication is like the water to the plant. Together, all these attributes can nurture the couple’s love into an ideal.

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