This morning, I was taking a bit of a "random meander" through Hivelandia... something I like to do, from time to time, as part of not getting too stuck in a groove of always looking at the same people's content.
First, I want to give a quick shoutout to @thelogicaldude whose recent podcast post partially inspired these words.
Considering Ourselves and "Our" Truth
Regardless of who you think yourself to be or where your belief system may lie, one of the cultural buzzwords of our time is this notion of "being authentic" and standing "in our truth."
These are fine and good ideas, but... for example, I make a point of going around Hive (and the greater web, for that matter) and looking at all kinds of things because one of the attendant risks of this whole "truth" business is that we so easily succumb to getting trapped in various small echo chambers that primarily serve to reinforce our truth, while seldom exposing us to anything that challenges or questions that truth.
I always chuckle to myself when I think back on "my Texas years" (25 of them) and local politics where we so often would hear politicians utter some variation of "Don't confuse me with the FACTS when my mind is already made up!"
The EGO Problem of "Being Right"
The human mind operates in strange ways... and we have these things called "egos" that aren't always the best things to bring to bear when also trying to be authentic.
The problem with the Human Ego is that it invariably wants to be RIGHT, rather like a stubborn 8-year old. And so, we get ourselves into these situations in which we find not only what we believe to be "truth" and "authenticity," but we became very very ATTACHED to those.
And if even a tiny crack of doubt presents itself... we're quick to patch it up so no light can come in!
Which brings me back to this authenticity business. When we are able to back off from our need to BE RIGHT, authenticity tends to become more fluid and frequently situational.
Mrs. Denmarkguy is fond of using the term "Situational Ethics," which I think encapsulates this need to blend our authenticity with a certain fluidity that recognizes that there are time to be — for example — militant about our beliefs, and other times to not be so.
Wishy-Washy Fence Sitting
I often get taken to task — particularly by those of somewhat extreme leanings — because I come across as a "wishy-washy fence sitter" on a lot of issues.
From where I am sitting, I am merely more interested in possibilities than I am in absolutes.
Yes, it's nice to sink into the nice soft cloud of "ALL government is evil" rather than embracing "much government is evil, but what are the possibilities for change?"
It's nice to sink into absolute points of view in political, religious, financial or other arenas, but so often that kind of strict duality gets in the way of actually getting anything done.
I remember this quite well... from something as utterly insignificant as serving as President of a Homeowner's Association!
Authentic Change is Scary!
Getting back to that ego thing, most people find a number of things emotionally/intellectually scary... a change of perspective being one of them, and recognizing that they were WRONG" being another.
Sometimes, those two walk hand-in-hand.
For example, one of the things I learned from my wife — who's a top notch counselor and Jungian Analyst — is that everyone has an "agenda."
Of course, my big ego had to insist and defend the perspective that I had no agenda.
But it's a matter of perception. In this case, my cognitive disconnect was that I associated "agenda" with negative underhanded scheming and manipulation... when it can also simply mean that everyone has a PLAN or an INTENTION. It doesn't have to be a negative thing.
Something I thought "important" changed.
Communication is Where It's At!
A large part of the reason authentic communication is so crucial is precisely that when we get locked into something — a belief, a values system — we adopt it as "the truth," but tend to become blind to the fact that it might not be as "obvious" to other people as it is to us.
As a metaphor, it's a bit like a latter-day version of the the British Empire, where the approach among the explorers was "If the natives don't understand you, continue to speak English, but LOUDER!"
So when we meet and talk to someone who's "Being Their Authentic Self" we — and they — have to be willing to back off and explore the question "What does that MEAN to you?" without beating each other over the head.
Asking for clarification of someone's values/beliefs is quite different from questioning them.
Truly KNOWING Your Truth...
And that's where we end by circling back to the title of this post: We have to truly know and in a sense "be intimate" with our authentic truths... rather than simply treat them like "seemingly good ideas" we pick off the shelf in a store, without much of a second thought.
I understand THAT you hold this truth, but WHY do you hold it, and based on WHAT did you arrive at it?
Of course, that could be an entire post onto itself, so I'd better end here!
Thanks for reading, and have a great remainder of your week!
How about YOU? Do you truly understand your authentic truth, and WHERE it comes from? Are you good at listening to someone whose truth might be different from your own, without judgment? Have you ever found yourself in a place of needing to "adjust" your core beliefs? Comments, feedback and other interaction is invited and welcomed! Because — after all — SOCIAL content is about interacting, right? Leave a comment — share your experiences — be part of the conversation!
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Created at 20211130 20:48 PDT
0422/1666