A wedding, a huge milestone of two people united as one, is one of the happiest days of a couple's life, so an invitation to be part of the happiness and joy of the couple's special day is an Honor and a Privilege.
I already lost count as to how many weddings I have attended. (friendly me) Each wedding I have attended always leaves a mark and impression on my heart, starting from the decorations, the invitation cards, souvenir gifts, the entourage, the color motif, the set-up at the reception, and most importantly the tradition and culture that are shown in the couple's wedding.
Speaking of an invitation to this 'rich of tradition' ceremony, I would say I am one the luckiest to be able to attend the most important ceremony in Vietnamese culture- the traditional Vietnamese wedding. I cherished and treasured this experience as it is not common for an ordinary Filipino like me to attend a wedding ceremony in another country.
A privilege I say.
Few years ago, my Vietnamese friend, my student when I was teaching in an ESL (English as Second Language) school invited me to attend her wedding day. I was very happy with the news that she was finally going to marry the love of her life, but I was more surprised when I read the invitation and saw my name on the list of the entourage! "Heavens, I am one of the bridesmaids! How could I say No? I then arranged my schedule, filed a vacation leave, and booked a flight to Vietnam! 🇻🇳
The Vietnamese wedding ceremony is one of the most unique and fascinating weddings I have attended, aside from that the ceremony is foreign to me, what I appreciate the most is their heart-warming wedding tradition and how unique it is. And here's why.
The Dress
On the wedding day, the bride and the groom wear the traditional wedding dress in Vietnam called Ao Dai. The color of the Ao Dai may vary but in their tradition, a red dress is worn by the bride, and the blue one is for the groom. A headband called Khan Dong is paired with the dress.
Unlike in the Philippines, the bride usually wears a white wedding gown and tuxedo for men.
At my friend's wedding, she was wearing a peach color Ao Dai paired with a veil on her head instead of Khan Dong while the groom was wearing white. My friend, Candy looked so dazzling and happy.
The Memorable Day.
The most memorable part of the ceremony happened on my 2nd day of stay in Vietnam. We woke up as early as 5:00 am and had our make-up done at 7:00 am. The whole household was busy with the preparation and decorations. When everything was set and ready, we then fell in line outside the house waiting for the arrival of the groom and his family.
When the groom arrived together with his family, I saw plenty of gifts/dowry placed in a red basket. There I knew that the engagement ceremony was about to begin to be followed right away by the tea and candle ceremony.
Still feeling jetlagged, I wasn't able to ask Candy if we were going to the church or a city hall where weddings usually took place just like in my country the Philippines.
Engagement Ceremony
This wedding tradition and culture of Vietnam gave me goosebumps. When the family members of the groom arrived, from a distance, they formed a procession going to my friend's home with plenty of presents and gifts placed in a basket covered with red pieces of cloth on them.
At the door, the groom and his family ask permission to marry my friend. I didn't understand what they were saying but I deeply understand the love language of both families, and when I looked at my friend, Happiness was all over her face.
The groom then showed the gifts to Candy's family and gave her a bouquet, they go straight to the ancestral altar for the Tea and Candle Ceremony.
The Altar is beautifully decorated with flowers incense sticks, candles, and picture frames on the altar which I believed were pictures of their ancestors.
Tea and Candle Ceremony (The Wedding Proper)
With the bride and groom in front of the altar, and everyone was gathered around, I wonder where the priest was, the pastor, or anyone who will officiate the wedding ceremony.
This time I whispered and asked another bridesmaid,
"Where is the priest? Where is the pastor? Who will officiate the wedding?"
She only answered me with a smile, a smile that could either mean, why I am so clueless or she couldn't understand the English language. I wish it was the latter.
Traditionally, the tea and the candle ceremony is dedicated to the couple, to the parents and elders in the family, and to their ancestors.
This is the most important part of the ceremony because this is the time that the bride and the groom burn incense sticks, pray, and ask permission from their ancestors to bless them.(Not to the priest, Not to the pastor). This is also the time that the couple exchanges their vows and rings.
After which, the newlyweds serve a tea (Chrysanthemum Tea, but in modern times, some use wine) to their elders and parents to show respect and gratitude.
The bride's family will then give their gifts to the newlyweds in the form of money and jewelry. In the end, the two families light a dragon and Phoenix candle, a sign that the two families are now officially united. (Cheers to the newlyweds!)
For Vietnamese, the wedding is not just a union of the bride and groom, but a union of the two families.
Going to the Groom's House.
After the ceremony, we then head to the groom's house. The newlywed was brought to the groom's ancestral altar this time and a short ceremony took place. Everyone was cheering after the ceremony and we were so happy partaking in the food and drinks.
The gifts
In the Philippines, wedding gifts vary. In my hometown, people bring things that are useful for couples in starting their home. Presents such as furniture, appliances, textile, or any gifts you can carry to the wedding are good.
In Vietnam, when they attend a wedding they bring CASH placed inside a red envelope, as their gift to the newlyweds. So guess what, at my friend's wedding, I was the only one carrying a gift wrapped with love and support (char!) Proud Filipino.
These are but a glimpse of how abundant and stunning Vietnam's culture and tradition are. How fortunate and blessed I am to have witnessed one, the wedding. I'll be forever grateful to my friend Candy for making me a part of her wedding day. I swear she's the most beautiful lady on that day!
My "Vietnamese wedding experience", opened my eyes to how rich and diversified a country's culture and tradition could be. Though my country and Vietnam have different wedding cultures and traditions one thing in common, the root of this heart-warming celebration is the LOVE and the unity of the two people that gather everyone from wherever corner of the world they may be.