When people make an effort for me "without any explained reason", it freaks me out! It is approximately as dangerous as asking for "a loan not learning how much will be the interest!"
I would be spending days thinking why, why, why would someone do that! However, some of those eternally remained mysterious as they prevail!
Anyhow, it has been around 3 months since I have been in Hive.
And I believe NO-ONE had such dramatic hive-life like me within such a short time!
I entangled myself with a bunch of folks within one week, infiltrated their turf the next week, befriended them later, and before it cross a month I considered them as a family as ridiculous as it sounds. I fought,
Wait there!
Don't laugh yet! That was just an introduction to the beginning!
No! I am well aware I am mature enough both in age and experience for this absurdity. Yet all those had happened before I could even analyze anything.
I was swayed instantly one after another event!
Not only that, before it even cross another month, I fought like a very serious none! I argued, I was hurt and I broke up, went drinking and complaining, left home as if no way home!
Then how more melodramatic it can be, we confronted and reconciled. But I was still confused why would someone go that far to reconcile or say sorry.
I had not ever thought for once that someone would care enough to reflect upon me or most importantly mind me enough to come forward when I make no impact neither my absence makes any difference in their life!
I scoured every possible explanation of telling myself "maybe this is just another prank!" Then I thought this is broken and it will never turn out as it was before.
But then one person made me erase every scare there was. I think that brat is just a brat and I still think he is a brat. But that one sentence "I'll do this but I still am angry" made my heart flutter, making me realize it wasn't only me, there was someone else who was truly sincere about whatever stupid brethren we had formed.
I indulged myself in thinking that there was someone else who was angry, sad, sorry, pouting like I was. "You wouldn't feel shit if you don't care", that's what I believe.
I am immensely fond of sincerity.
It's a very subtle trait. No matter how vast or small your efforts are, sincerity will prevail if it's there. Just like you will feel it in your heart if someone treasures you only for the sake of it or because you truly matter and whether your presence or absence makes a difference in their life or not.