"See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no “root of bitterness” springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled."(Heb. 12:15)
Sometimes we meet people with whom we can feel a special atmosphere, a special aura that reflects their inner state.
Most of the time they are sad, moody, and joyless. Their faces show an expression of deep sadness and suffering. If they talk, they complain about life, about circumstances, about people. But more often they are withdrawn, silent and gloomy.
Or, on the contrary, these people are too emotional, but their emotions are unrestrained and inadequate. Their words are often rude and sarcastic, their thoughts are restless and anxious. Their attitude towards life and people is critical and negative, and their behavior is aggressive.
Communicating with such people is very difficult. They are sometimes called "difficult", sometimes "toxic", sometimes unbearable.
These people are just unhappy. And this is the consequence of bitterness deep in their hearts.
Once it happened that as a result of some tragic events in their lives, their hearts were broken, and from the cracks grew and strengthened the root of bitterness.
What is bitterness in a person? It is something very harmful, malignant, something that poisons the body. For example, like the disease cancer, which originated in one small place, over time grows throughout the body and poisoning, killing it. The same thing can happen to our soul.
Sometimes we do not even notice how this bitter root grows in us. Because such a root can lie at the bottom of any human heart as a muddy sediment of all the experiences, and sometimes break through from the depths of our soul in the form of negative thoughts and feelings. It is hard for us to admit it, but if we look deep inside ourselves, we can find what creates tension and discomfort.
Bitterness is suffering. It is a deeply buried pain that time does not heal. They are sensitive wounds that can easily be opened by a casual touch.
It is a longing for a loved one or for a time when you had a good time. It is longing for something infinitely important that is gone and will never come back.
It is resentment over misunderstanding and rejection. When we resent someone who we think has treated us unfairly or dishonestly. When, with all our best efforts, we are not understood, not appreciated, not forgiven.
It is judging someone or resenting ourselves. We cannot accept the past and forgive ourselves and others for the wrongs and mistakes we have made. Guilt and regret devours us from within, creating self-doubt and insecurity.
It is disappointment. It is a lack of meaning in life or hopelessness. It is when our expectations and efforts have not been fulfilled for a long time and our goals are still unachieved. We become disappointed in life, and we no longer expect anything new and good from it. It is the fear and feeling of helplessness, the despair of not being able to change things.
It is the inability to fully fulfill ourselves, to show our true selves. When we are forced to live a life that is not our own because of external circumstances that limit us. When what we can give is not needed in this world.
This is loneliness and lack of love. When all we need is a loved and loving person by our side. But he is not there. And we suffer more, not because we are not loved, but because we cannot express all our love..
Soul bitterness is not always obvious and visible. Some people know how to hide it. But no matter how you hide it, it manifests itself voluntarily or involuntarily, and begins to affect and destroy all areas of our lives - our physical health, our state of mind, our relationships, our future.
I have a bitter root in my soul - about 16 years ago, for 2.5 years one by one, under different circumstances, I lost my mother, father and younger brother. And since then, the bitter taste of the suddenness of death and the unpredictability of life sometimes emerges from somewhere in the depths and poisons my life.. I have a hard time believing in tomorrow and making plans for the future. A subtle underlying sense of fear and sense of meaninglessness of aspirations and actions sometimes does not allow me to perceive the fullness of life..
The bitter root is often not easy to get rid of. There are few people in the world who can withstand all the blows of fate perfectly. Our capabilities are not prohibitive, and sometimes, with all our desire, we cannot cope with something. We can talk a lot about how we are masters of our lives, that we can control everything and fix everything, and so on. But it doesn't always work out. It's enough to remember how many people around the world settle accounts with fate at the cost of their lives.
But what to do?
I'm sure that if it concerns you, you have tried various approaches, all your knowledge and all your inner strength, to uproot this bitter root. Don't blame yourself if you can't handle it yet.
But don't give up. «Observe yourself» - as the apostle Paul said, lest it take hold of you entirely, and affect others.
Don't let the bitter root control you, cut off any sprouts of it that might show up. Avoid situations that can cause bitterness to erupt, sweeping away everything in its path. Try not to let negative thoughts into your mind, try to find something positive in everything that happens to you.
Refuse to condemn anything. Make the decision to forgive yourself and others. Yes, we are incapable of instilling self-respect and love in people. But even in unrequited love, there is always hope that one day it will be accepted. Yes, we have lost much. But we still have much of value left that we can be thankful for.
What makes us weak is what we carry within us. But we can prevail over that which intends to enslave us.
Your heart is where everything happens. It is not without reason that King Solomon said: «Keep your heart with all diligence, For out of it spring the issues of life.» (Proverbs 4:23)
Every problem has a spiritual solution. And your spiritual bitterness can be removed on a higher, spiritual level. You can turn to God and say sincerely:
«Father, in the name of Jesus, I renounce every root of bitterness in my heart, and I abolish all its effects in my life. I forgive every person who has wronged me or hurt me. I forgive myself for everything I have done. I give You all my pain and open wounds, all my suffering and fears. I renounce every root of bitterness, guilt, resentment, disappointment, fear, hatred, doom, and declare that I am free in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen!»
And believe that God's love, power, and grace will cleanse your heart, remove all bitterness from it, and fill it with the true sweetness of life.