๐๐๐ฒ, ๐๐ข๐ฏ๐
"Get up you lazy piece of shit, the sun is out!" The bastard I have for a brother turned on the stereo in my room at full volume. I dont know by Artic Mokeys was flooding the room.
"I love you too, asshole" I muttered against the bed. "Now get the hell out of here!"
He swayed inside the room attempting a nefarious sensual dance. He ignored my insults until laughter erupted the morning and I stood up from the bed, he had succeeded in his task: to get me up so he could make breakfast.
"I'll cook, just because you were creative this time" I pointed my index finger at him.
"It's better to be that creative, than to blow up the kitchen" he asserted.
"Touchรฉ."
After a hearty breakfast, we both left the house with different destinations.
After an irritating morning workday, I ended up sitting eating my lunch at an ice cream shop while sipping a milkshake.
"Are we doing anything this Friday?" Asked a woman in executive attire who sat across the table from me next to a dreadlocked brunette man.
"I don't know, nigga" he replied. "Trying to conquer the world, maybe."
"Whatever you say, brain" they both laughed. "I'll have my first vacation, we should celebrate by going to the new amusement park."
"Doesn't sound like a bad idea" he said then placed his food order. "I'll send a message to the group."
"Still no name?" she inquired, I didn't know what she meant.
"I think we lack genius to have a name" they both laughed. "Maybe we should forget that, it's been two years and nothing."
"Maybe you're right" was the last I heard as I had to get back to work.
I wish I had friends who cared enough to do something fun on a daily basis. I wish I could be more outgoing. I wish I had friends.
My brother left me a note saying he wouldn't be home for a couple of days. Noah is always out in a different world, full of anecdotes and adventures, I have a sneaking suspicion that he frequents underground places to experience the adrenaline process, but what can I do against that? Nothing.
He is of age now, I can't control his actions as before. However, I feel envious because he constantly has plans to execute, he does many more things than I do, that defines me as sullen, when I don't feel that way.
Dismayed, I sat on my bed to wander between thoughts, it's a bad habit I have of going blank when my order of ideas is scrambled. The night breeze accompanied me until I fell asleep.
The days passed without any different news, Noah communicated with me by messages, notifying me that he was fine and would not be back until the weekend. My work days were saturated with numbers until they haunted me in my sleep. When Friday arrived, the air I breathed as I left the place was a pure wind, infectious with energy, like a breath to the spirit.
"I'm going to the amusement park!" I spoke suddenly as I closed the front door.
There is an unwritten rule, which dictates not to go to places to have fun in a group if you are alone, because it's too sad. But I'll pass the rules up my ass! I'll go out and have fun, even if I look like a child raised in an orphanage.
After the preliminary preparations, I went for a flirty look.
"I don't look like a Lamborghini, but at least I get to Volkswagen well-groomed."
I laughed looking in the mirror, talking to myself is the most entertaining thing I do during the day.
Since I was little I have a fetish with labeling people with car models, it entertains me to think about the similarities of a car's design with a person's personality or physical bearing, I live awarding vehicle brands to both known and unknown entities. At that time I was branded as a weirdo, because involuntarily I always confessed the car that reminded me of a person, at 14 years old I began to moderate my tongue and my ideas got stuck in my mind. Maybe that's why I have no friends, because of the barriers I erected to cover my strange hobbies and protect myself from accusations with avid intentions to hurt.
As I left the house, the cold hit my face, making me remember that the months of rain had ended and the wake they left behind were the cold nights that foretold Christmas. I walked calmly towards the center of the city, I would have enjoyed the scenery that the Ferris wheel gave me if my home was an apartment on the top floor of some building. The park will be set up for the rest of the year, classes are about to let up and its biggest clientele -which are the school children- will come without the constraints of their school responsibilities.
The streets are glowing with store advertisements, the nights are really busy in the center of the big city. I constantly leave the house without a specific goal, one day I go shopping, another day to the movies, sometimes I have dinner out, whatever activity you usually do in a group, I do it alone. My brother is not much for going out with me, he'd rather be at home trying to write something he'll be proud of or working on who knows what; the guy can really be quite mysterious if he puts his mind to it.
The noise of people announced my destination.
Colorful lights, laughter and raucous shouting filled the atmosphere with an electrifying vibe. With an emptiness in my stomach I ventured into a new challenge. I bought tickets and walked around, not sure whether to go on an attraction or just watch. The tickets seemed to burn in my hand and the anticipation made me nauseous, some people saw me without paying attention to me, I could pass for a ghost or a mannequin of some game. When I stopped in front of the haunted house, I felt overwhelmed, maybe amusement parks were too much for me, I was torn between my excitement for adventure and my need for companionship. The screams coming from the place made my chest ache and the laughter of the groups around me made me nervous. I felt sweat in my armpits from the situation. I started to take hesitant steps backwards, I felt overcome, I would go home I didn't have to prove anything to the world!
"Hey, hey, watch out" I crashed into a man with total Hummer looks, he looked like he could demolish anything that got in his way.
My hands were shaking. "Excuse me."
A woman holding a nintendo, two individuals who were stupidly tall and a rather unperturbed man stopped behind the hummer. I recognized one as the brunet I saw that day at the ice cream shop. My stomach turned over, I didn't understand my nerves nor did I understand this coincidence of fate. I couldn't formulate a coherent word, so I didn't dare open my mouth.
The cold numbed my fingers and my thoughts.
"Is something wrong?" the dark-haired man asked as he sensed the silence.
He had all the look of a Mustang GT, he radiated abysmal charisma and adventurous eyes.
"I don't know" replied the more stoic one. "She seems scared, but she says she's fine."
"Who is she?" one of the taller ones asked. "Don't tell me Mara has a friend and we didn't know."
"I don't have any friends" the woman sentenced without taking her eyes off the device.
"Would you turn that stupid thing off for a moment?" The brunet snatched the video game from her, but she didn't flinch.
When she decided to raise her gaze, I recognized her instantly, she was the brunet's companion at the ice cream shop, but her attire was contrary to that day and something in her attitude as well. "Ah, who are you?" she questioned pointedly, too much for my liking.
"Oh" I scratched my head trying to control myself. "I'm JJ, my name is JJ" I tried to smile.
"Ah" was all he said, his gaze was firm and blunt.
"Are you with someone else?" I was asked. "Did you get lost?"
"I'm..." I averted my gaze, it was depressing my answer "alone."
"Were you going up?" the Mustang GT approached, pointing to the haunted house. "Could I ride up with you? There's five of us and it's two to a seat, so we're odd," he tried to pout and then burst out laughing guffawing "don't get that 'I'm shitting my pants' expression, I won't force you into anything."
"What?" I laughed nervously. "I'm not shitting my pants."
"Let your face know" everyone else laughed, except for the one they called Mara. "Well, will you come upstairs with me?"
"It is said: please" Mara interrupted him "and stop laughing, you're making her uncomfortable because you're not laughing with her, you're laughing at her, stop fucking around for a moment and have some tact."
They all fell silent, chagrined.
"It's-it's okay" I was loaded with short answers today, a good method of not ruining the situation. "Yeah, I'll get on."
Inside I felt grateful to this Mara, even though she intimidated me. But I had the opportunity to share with more people, I had to take advantage of the opportunity. So we began a fun night full of random games, disputes with Mara to put the nintendo aside, pushing and shoving among the guys, failed attempts at flirting with other women and meaningless laughter. I was having fun, and without knowing it, I was caught up in what I had been looking for, a truly thrilling experience.
The hours passed and when the place announced it would close an emptiness settled in my stomach. We walked together towards the exit, the wind was beginning to behave as if it was blowing and the stars were twinkling in the sky. In the center of the central square we all crossed different paths. We exchanged phone numbers and they agreed to contact me, like the typical phrase after a job interview: "don't call us, we'll call you". They said goodbye without physical affection and headed for other places, I did not have the courage to thank them out loud, but my look seems to have said enough.
I let myself be guided by the melody of voices to the faint harmony of my home, remembering at every step the faces of those who would become the answer to my desires and the storm of my destiny.
Translated with DeepL Free version.
