picture source: https://www.pexels.com/photo/cloud-formation-and-golden-hour-136238/

Though many people don’t remember what life was like before they were born, I do. Clearly too.

First off, people are made of stardust. No lie.

And you get to choose your parents.

This is all probably way over your head right now, so I’ll just start with the beginning. MY beginning.

I started out as this big, bright yellow ball of fire and gas. I was in a galaxy I could not name. I wasn’t told the background of my existence. There was no one to tell me. All I knew was that I was surrounded by shades of faded gold and bold reds, the fog of a black, vast space. Millions of other stars, other souls, shined around me, some pink, some blue, some white.

I was constantly blinking, twinkling, if you might, my light getting darker and lighter, as my whole body was overwhelmed with gravity. My core was too strong, a huge, molten hot white ball practically radiating gravity, pulling the rest of me towards it. It’s like if your heart began to pull at everything around it, your lungs, your kidneys, the very skin on your face, like a powerful vacuum cleaner you couldn’t escape.

Gravity pulled everything I was made of straight to my core. I was compacted too tightly into one tiny space. Then, before I knew it, BOOM! I had exploded. My core collapsed into a black hole, and for some reason, I could see it all, as if I were a cameraman. I blinked for the first time.

I gasped. Never had I ever been able to blink before. But suddenly, I had a body, a fat one too, with obease feet and arms. I was incredibly tiny. I didn’t know what else to do, so I cried.

I had a voice! It was high-pitched and whinny, but I still had one. None of the other twinkling stars seemed to notice that I had turned into a small, fat being. I wondered if they were conscious, like me, or were just hot, fiery orbs that were busy exhausting themselves into oblivion.

To my right, that cold, pitch black hole pulled at everything in its area. The fog, even the aura and energy of other stars, swirling down its blackness like a toilet when flushed.

When I looked to my left though, I saw another hole open up. A golden one, with white, fluffy floating fog and feathery creatures with wings and beaks. The creatures looked at me, making a weird, clacking noise as they turned their heads, this way and that.

They are birds, said something inside me. I wasn’t sure what though.

No one told me, but I felt that I had a choice. There I was, a newborn creature, floating between a famished black hole and a golden plain I had never seen before. I could choose either fate, but that fate would be final.

I got on my chubby hands and knees, and started to move towards one of them. I could move! As a star, I was only able to sit in one place for all eternity, but as this creature, this baby, I was now mobile. What an upgrade!

As I got closer and closer to the golden world, the sky and clouds surrounded me, as if swallowing me whole as I entered its body. Fluffy, white clouds sat over me. White, skinny-necked birds clucked and flew over me, or stood around me, their heads turning endlessly as if saying who is this small creature? What is he?

Strangely enough, what I was crawling on happened to be clouds as well, its texture as soft as my skin.

Then I saw pictures, floating pictures of creatures like me, but bigger. Slimmer. All smiling at me.

Each of these photos contained a man and a woman, all different shades of browns.

I studied each of these pictures closely. Each of the couples had their own signature smiles. Some people had dimples. Others high cheekbones. Some had silver teeth and others limited their smile to just lips.

The closer I crawled to any of them, the more my features changed. My eyes would be coffee brown one moment, olive green the next. My skin would be a rich dark brown one movement, peanut the next.

This was another choice. I studied all the pictures carefully, until I found a couple that made me stare for longer than all the others.

The woman had a peculiar smile, golden skin, polka-dotted by moles and a huge gap in her two front teeth. The Man had something about his rich dark brown eyes that made him look knowledgeable, and a square head.

I crawled over to them, I could feel my features changing the closer I got. Soon they were so close, the people were animated, I could see the woman reaching out to me.

Mom.

But as I crawled into her hands, something went wrong. The reflection of them went gray, and all the pictures shattered. I began to cry again. What happened? The clouds below me began to evaporate, the black of outer space becoming more and more visible. Just before I fell into infinity, a bird flew under me and swept me away, saving my new life.

The other birds began to follow behind her from the left or right, forming an upside-down V shape. I suddenly realized what this bird was. She was a stork.

We flew for a while, the vast land clouds barely ever changing, except for white hills big and small. The bird gently landed me in a place where I found other babies as small and chubby as I was, crawling amongst the clouds, minding their own business.

Though I wondered what had just happened, one word came to mind as I sat looking around. Heaven. This, is Heaven.

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