I stood there by the end of that Hallway as I watched him torture that poor piano.
As he struck each note which such fury and desperation that you would think his entire life depended on that one piece which resonated from the acoustic grand.
I'm sure any soul too would've been perplexed to see an old man of 76 striking harshly at a piano right in the middle of the night. Yes, this I'm sure. For of all the rather strange things I have watched my uncle do in his life, this was by far the most bizarre.
Oh he raged, he cried, and he swore as he played the very melancholic piece – Ballade No.1 by his favourite composer, Frederick Chopin. Oh, I can say for certain now that i had never felt such pain, such sorrow, such IMMORTAL despair come from a living human being as it did from my Uncle and his Piano.
And then, amidst the overwhelming swarming of emotions in the air and his wild gesticulations, I became very startled when I witnessed his rather vile acts of rage: Firstly, my uncle sprung up from his chair, slapped his face repeatedly and began smashing the piano with the chair in a fit of rage!
Frightened by the sight of this, I ran immediately to my uncle:
Uncle! Stop Stop it! What are you doing?
I yelled as I tried my best to reprimand him but alas, there was no stoping a furious soul whom was on the verge of losing everything. And so, instead of stopping his frantic display, he merely bellowed out the words:
Why? Why?? Why??? You stupid God! Why?!!!
In all Honesty, I was horrified to hear this! For deep within I knew very well what he meant by howling such a vague and mysterious word as Why?.
Yes, it had become very clear to me now and so straight I ran to comfort my Uncle whom had now collapsed on the floor in tears wailing.
Wailing about his doomed son.
Uncle! Uncle please! You have to let go. You have to let go of him.
I whispered to my Uncle's ears.
Hmph, no. No it's not that. It's just...the sound. I can't hear the sound of the piano.
He said with uncertainty and pain in his eyes.
Ahh... true. It is was true that my uncle had been in denial of the impending doom that awaited my cousin, he's son, in prison.
You see, a few years ago my cousin – Liam Bouchard – was sentenced to the death penalty by the state of Connecticut superior court for first degree murder and has since been incarcerated in prison there for about three years. And so all through this while, my uncle has been giving a blind eye to the whole thing. Was he ignorant? Was he in denial? Or was it just too overwhelming for him? Nobody knows really but I'm sure of one thing – my uncle was in dier pain.
Frankly, my uncle was never one to open up about his feelings and so I knew he was using his impending deafness as a means of escaping his pain. And so, everytime the topic about Liam was raised, he would pretend not to hear what the person said. This he did then and this he does now. But no... I won't let him suffer. No!... Not tonight.
Ah, I can no longer hear the sound of the piano. At this rate, my hearing woul be completely gone by tomorrow.
My uncle spoke as we sat on the dining table.
Uncle.
I said.
I swear! I can't hear the notes again.
He replied.
No Uncle. Stop pretending. You know what I'm talking about...
I said in a low but concerned tone to him. Then, he took a deep pause and stared at the ground as if in a state of reverie before breaking into tears.
How can I sleep when my son's execution is tomorrow. Tell me!
He lamented softly.
My, I didn't know what to say. The whole atmosphere was swarming with sorrow and despair and my uncle was sitting at the heart of it.
Oh Uncle, I don't know. I don't...
I said.
Don't waste your breath my boy.
Hmm... you know why I have been avoiding Liam's sentence all these years?...Because I was angry and disappointed. But above all, I was scared. Scared that the more I talked about it, the more the reality would set in.
My uncle muttered before he sat up properly, wiped the tears from his eyes and looked at me directly and spoke:
You see my boy, your cousin made his choice and now he has to pay for it. It's a shame but it has to happen. So don't worry about me, I'm just emotional because the reality is finally sinking in. But I'm fine, trust me.
Are you sure?...
I replied.
*Very sure. Now Common, let's get back to bed.
He urged me before I wheeled him to his room.
Ahh... I distinctly remember what he said to me after I tucked him to bed.
He said:
Hmm... it seems there'll be a lot of silence tomorrow. One without my hearing and one without my son
