Do you hear about @ecotrain Question of the weeks #19 today. It's about word ADDICTED, everyone can share what addicted mean to you. For the completed post and how to join you can read here. Everyone can still post until Monday 14th September.

Everyone in a relationship, I am sure to be happy together. But when a relationship only presents a feeling of depression on one side of the individual and it repeats many times then it is indeed questionable, what a relationship is built for?

Addicted is not just about foods or drinks that you consume and it ends up being something that has a bad effect on your body when you don't consume it. Even though you always consume it, it's a bad thing that you slowly build up will eventually become a boomerang that destroys yourself. Likewise about the psychological side, from the habits or traits we do to the end that also pushes to destruction in our personality. Coming out of it all is not an easy thing, it takes courage and also strong will. The point is addicted or in any term for mention it, if just done excessively it will always bring bad feedback. Am I right?

Toxic Relationship

Telling about this, for a moment flashback to the past. And now I'm stuck again. Before discussing this, I tried to dig inside myself. I am a good person to anyone even for strangers that I never meet before, I can do more to help friends, I am a warm & quiet person, the recipient for anything happens, even very difficult to say something hurtful to anyone else, sometimes I choose to hurt myself rather than others, I often think too much & too far about something/ problem happen to make me out of control, I am a person who is very easy to believe the first impression that other people make.

Do you understand what Toxic Relationship is?

Toxic relationship is a term to describe an unhealthy relationship that can have a negative impact on a person's physical or mental state. -Wikipedia

In simple language it can be said as "When the relationship that you built is no longer connecting and you still choose to stay for various reasons but in the end it is always negative, both emotionally and physically. Instead of feeling safe, but instead feeling uncomfortable when dealing with someone. Not feeling there is freedom, but often feel tired of facing your own partner. And can't get out of it."

Ideally, a relationship should be two-way, involving each other to help each other without expecting anything in return. Everyone knows that not all human relationships are healthy relationships. Relationships that provide mutual support and care for each other, from compassion, affection, senses of secure, freedom of thought, caring for each other, cherishing, and respecting existing differences of opinion.

I feel that I am in this relationship, a relationship that dominates and puts me on the bottom, lack of freedom, comfort, happiness, etc. The result is that more negative emotions are felt than positive emotions in a relationship that I built. Someone who is in the category of a toxic relationship is not unaware that they are in it, but on the side of being helpless to fight their own ego, there are also those who are under pressure from their partner. Sometimes the feeling that being separated from him will all be bad things, such as only our partner who understands us, fear of losing, etc. Even though the fact of separating or leaving the relationship is something that is recommended. I am aware that I am in this relationship category, and I am fully aware that I have to leave this relationship, but the truth is that even for 2 years I was still stuck here. Stuck in a toxic relationship, causing inner conflicts within me. Directing me to anger, depression, or anxiety and having a chance to end my life, isn't that a terrible thing? So it makes difficult for me to live a productive and healthy life.

To be honest, I am a very difficult person to start feeling love others, but when I find someone who suits what I want then I will really take care of my feelings for him or this relationship, the point is I overreact in a relationship that causes me ends up being in an unstable state between ego and reality.

This is not the first time a relationship that I have built has become toxic to me, in the past I have also built relationships that made me trapped in it and even more terrible because it was accompanied by physical violence that happened to me. The relationship that I courageously built against the wishes of my parents, finally only led to destruction, and when that happened only my parents and loved ones came back to make me get back up. I should be able to learn from that past but at the end it turns out I was stuck again. Once again it's not an easy thing for me maybe for other people too ... so stop bullying someone who is in that condition. It took courage as well as a strong determination in myself to leave this relationship, so that I could walk straight ahead until I finally could be free from this bad bond that I built.

What Signifies When You Are In A Toxic Relationship

I read one by one the references about toxic relationships, and I found that most of them are in the relationships that I am in. How the beginning of a relationship that we live in becomes a toxic for me, it is because of my personal attitude that feels that the man I love is the best person for me, someone who fits what I want and only he is able to understand I am well, I feel very lonely when he is gone, I lose happiness when I have to part with him, and other feelings of fear are intangible. That feeling of fear that I instilled in myself ultimately led me to a toxic relationship. Though it's all just nonsense that I build for myself and are baseless. Without realizing it, all of this created a feeling of excessive dependence on my partner and became a natural reason for continuing to have this toxic relationship. I also take the unpleasant things that happen as normal. When there are parties outside the relationship who realize me about this toxic relationship, I will deny it for a thousand reasons.

I am not talking that my current partner is not a good person, he is a nice and warm person when we talk, never gets angry too much even I can count on the fingers when he is angry at me, but he's someone I think is selfish, never remembers important things in life, not maintaining communication, too indifferent and insensitive to the feelings of partners. I don't know if most guys are like that, but I guess that's a bad thing.

Reading the post about #QOTW from @ecotrain today, for a second it made me aware of the relationship that I built now turned toxic to me, and I knew that I had to end it by starting with the word DARE.

Built relationships and having someone we love and love us is the dream of many women in this world. But that doesn't mean I have to let myself get caught with the wrong person. I realized that letting myself fall into a toxic relationship was not a wise decision to live my life and it made me forget to love myself and think about my life in the future. No matter how much love I give to my partner, I have to be sure that there are still people out there who can respect, and love me well. I have to dare to say and instill the attitude for myself that how important it is to maintain mental health in building a relationship. And I have to realize that I have to get out of this toxic relationship right now without looking back. YAACCHH...I AM OUT!

I shared this story to make myself aware that I have to change the direction of my character, which loves my partner too much, that it is not a good thing and can lead to being toxic to myself. This is not only about love relationships but toxic relationships can also occur in friendships as well as relationships in the family. Whatever it is in a relationship, good and balanced self-control is needed to maintain the important stability of mental health in us, because good or bad mental health is fundamental to living this life to remain in a stable condition as well as straight in thinking. Thank you so much for @ecotrain, for bringing up the topic of ADDICTED so that it allows many people to learn a lot about what they should know from a word ADDICTED and everyone's experience so that it becomes a life lesson for others too.